You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
