but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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