just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
