ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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