YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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