You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
