She's JV to your varsity
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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