Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
