I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
barbara walters just said penis...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
