does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
BRING THE BAGELS
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
