Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We're too hungover to prance.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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