You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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