I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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