I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
