My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
