I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
