my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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