gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She tied me up with her honor cords...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
