when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
