Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just want nice things and good sex
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
