omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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