Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
