Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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