I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
