all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
