So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
