R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
