He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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