soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My life is pants optional.
Randomize