He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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