there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
