Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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