her vagine was all disorganized.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
