Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
