so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
