your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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