he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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