but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
