I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
