i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
