I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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