For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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