HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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