My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He kissed a someone with a penis
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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