my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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