Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
