it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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