also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
