I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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