Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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