My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Someone signed my nipple.
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