so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
