I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
