remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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