I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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