woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
