what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
