This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize