If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
