I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
