dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
