guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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