I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
